the italian beach

Today I went to a beach. Ok, I've heard stereotypes about Italian beaches about the men in speedos, and the naked women, but I figured "that's only on certain beaches. Beaches for people into THOSE kind of things."

Apparently, Italy is into THOSE kind of things. The men really do wear speedos...no matter how fat, hairy, old, or saggy they are. And...(shocked Emily face goes here) they wear them with what appears to be great pride. It was hard not to go up to them and tell them that they looked horrible, and that if they needed the money to buy real shorts, maybe I could lend them some.

But, that's not the half of it. Women really do go topless, and they have no shame. Now please, someone tell me, why would you do that on the beach...and yet be embarrassed if you were walked in on while changing? What is the difference I ask you?? Can you even IMAGINE how awful it would be if you were hanging out with your DAD at a beach topless??? Oh my gosh, I die just thinking about it. OR...your mom-to all you sons out there?? Or, maybe your best friend's girlfriend decided to go topless...are you going to be able to hold a normal conversation..???I think not. The possibilities for embarrassing situations are endless.

So, anyway, the cultural differences are obviously huge, and immorality rampant. But, at least I learned one thing. I figured out what my worst nightmare is.

Dinnertime at a nudist colony.