did you know?

Did you know that I struggle with jealousy? I didn't know I did. Well, maybe jealousy isn't the word exactly....maybe the word is a desire for affirmation from humans instead of God, and when other people get that affirmation I isolate myself emotionally. I am also attempting to figure out what my love language is. I can't figure it out. I have realized however, that I love when people serve along side of me. If they leave work for me, and don't help me, it is totally hurtful to me...does that mean that my love language is recieved through acts of service? I"m not sure...maybe I just don't like working by myself, because that makes me feel like the mom. I hate feeling like the mom. Does that make me selfish or lazy? I can't tell. I need to work on doing acts of service alone and working for the Lord and not for others to notice or think I'm nice or something, that's for sure.

I have new friends that are so unlike myself. We constantly rub against each other's personalities, and I think it is probably a good thing. Perhaps at times it is painful and difficult, but beneficial none the less. I'm learning tons about myself and I hope that God is burning the bad things out of me.

I have to go to a CPR training on Saturday. I understand that this is important, but it is $25 bucks out of my own pocket, and it's on a stupid Saturday, when I have to attend an open house at my school all day on the following Saturday. I wouldn't mind, but I guess I'm irked because of the fact that I only have to get certified for 1/2 an hour each week of recess duty. There is another teacher who has 1 hour of recess duty everyday, and she's simply ignoring the requirement to be certified because she doesn't want to give up her Saturday. I secretly want to give her up and tell on her because it doesn't seem fair. I won't though. It's none of my business.

I want to go to the rodeo next weekend. No one else wants to go with me. Sad.