Here's something I wrote in my journal recently that I felt like posting...

God doesn't need me. See, because need determines value. I really "need" a drink. So, I seek after it and apprecieate it only as long as I'm thirsty. After that, the water is not as needed, not as important-it may even be tossed aside. So, luckily God does not need me.

I have come to realize a deep longing in myself to be considered a beautiful person. No, not one of the "beautiful" (fake) people, but a really beautiful person. But, I'm beginning to see now that at the root of this desire is a fundemental lack of an understanding of an eternal God and self. Ulitimate worth could never be placed on something as temporal as a body that is destined to return to such a commonplace item as dust. How dissatisfying to place my hopes on a body that is "outwardly wasting away" 2 Corinthians 4:16-18.

Why would I even WANT people to like me for my looks? They are daily fading and if beauty is fleeting, I am sure to be left in misery.

The desire to be considered more beautiful than others is a misunderstanding of being made in the image of God. All people hold the same value in the reality that will proceed after this life. No amount of money, education, or skin care products will ever change that. Wow, what a lie consumerism is feeding me.

Let's be brutally honest. I don't run to honor the body as a temple of the holy spirit (although I hope that's my reasoning in the future). I don't run to keep my cardio in good shape. I run because I want great legs, and I want to be better than you. It sounds pretty terrible when you put it out there like that doesn't it? But, you know it's true. In our hearts we have a sense of entitlement. I DESERVE your attention, your compliments, and your admiration. I deserve blessings from God. Isn't that what we think? But, that mentality is already destroyed in the first 4 words of the Bible. "In the beginning God." This isn't about humans. This is about God's divine drama-not ours. Why do bad things happen to good peple? (what good people by the way...?) Because it's not about people. It's about God. If you allow your heart to begin to crack open to this, you will suddenly lose that sense of entitlement, and realize being beautiful really doesn't matter at all.

What a marvelous lie we have all believed.