busy busy busy

So, even though I am finally putting some money in the bank for the first time in my life...it is coming at the cost of other things. Such as: time. I just need some more of it. We were talking tonight at church about pursuing intentional relationships with people. I had just recently kind of let go of a lot of that, because so many of my friends live far away, and I am always trying to make new friends here, but it never seems to work. So, I felt like I should just be thankful for the ones I have far away, try to talk to them as often as possible on the phone, etc, and visit when I can. I can survive in Cincinnati with friends that are decent, and not like soul mates for a while if I need to. (is that a bad attitude?) I feel like this city is training me. Building me up for something different.

I just wonder when it will be.

I'm only lonely at the end of a super long day, when I have done 8 million things, and have 8 million to go. I've learned to just keep going. Keep on working, cleaning, painting, organizing, planning, and trucking through, despite an unbelievable desire to be a part of a larger adventure. I just want to make something beautiful. I don't want to strive, to tire so easily. God is working on me, and it's hard. It's hard to change, to let go, to grasp something new.